Los Angeles Well-Being Summit - The True Story about Transformation and Change

On March 10, 2025, I had the opportunity to participate in a panel discussion on health and well-being. It was run by Jeff Beacher, a promoter, producer, and entrepreneur based in Los Angeles, and held at the historic Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood, California.

Jeff, everyone knows him as "Beacher," asked me to help him with the event, serving as both a speaker and assisting with some of the organization. I was happy to be part of it, as discussing mental health, psychological wellness, and overall health has been the focus of my work for over 20 years.

Most of the people on the panel, from John "JT" Taylor to Kelly Osbourne to Christopher Schwarzenegger to Howard Lefkowitz, discussed their journey losing physical weight. The stories were stunning. JT topped at 400 pounds once. Beacher at 400, and Kelly has battled weight for years. All of them lost a great deal of weight, as did Christopher and Howard.

I heard stories of years of struggle. We all know the truth: there is no one path that anyone takes to lose weight. There was talk about food, diets, pills, and surgeries. All of it makes sense, and all of it matters in terms of how one feels more at home in their body.

For me, I was intrigued by the emotional and mental struggles the panel members faced. I had topped out at 245 pounds years ago and have since lost much of the weight, but I didn't do it by cutting out food or eating less of something. It was about correcting what was malfunctioning, which was my flawed brain and my distorted sense of who I was. It's personal identity, not only weight identity.

I grew up in an abusive household. Physically and mentally beat up. I was a homeless child sex worker. I got kicked out when I was gay at 14. I was told I was worthless, and I believed it. My weight was a result of my feeling unsafe, unprotected, and not understanding my battle was with myself, not with anybody else.

As I grew older, I realized it was my responsibility to work on myself, not anyone else. However, until I saw my family and surroundings as opportunities for growth, I felt only bitterness and anger at my 'lot' in life.

The most challenging work requires us to go inside. Until we go inside and see what is fucking us up in terms of what our mind is saying, no pill, no surgery, no diet will heal the wound of not being enough as we are right now. Healing deep inner emotional wounds is the answer, and yes, diet can help.

That's the part that struck me the most at the summit. We all think we're not enough right now. That we haven't arrived. We're at a strange juncture in this work of 'well-being' (or being well, as I call it) — we say we're okay as we are, but we don't truly feel it. We don't believe it. We think we have to do better, try harder - and while this is true, strive for excellence and all that - right now we're enough. We are enough as we are right now in this exact moment.

Given the resources some of us have access to, it astounds me that we still struggle to love ourselves unconditionally. It's like we don't know that's the secret of all secrets. We fight it, we look to external validation and hacks, and there is no hack. It doesn't exist.

We are the hack. We are the community we're looking for. No one else. Us. Alone.

In my own life having crawled from the gutter and succeeding in making something of my life, I've learned when we take the time to do the challenging inner work to love ourselves fully, right now, as we are without needing anything to change as we also move towards goals -- that's the honest path. The true path. The only path that works.

It's the intersection of outer and inner, but the movement is always inner first.

To get to that state is the actual, hard work. That state is what we're all looking for. It's a day-in, day-out process. And it's very, very hard to stick with it every day. It's why traditional talk therapy isn't enough for many of us.

To go in, talk to someone for an hour - all well and good. But there are 23 hours in the day and 7 days in a week. What about the other days? Why do we lack the habits to go inside and find the answers, which is our core job in life?

Trust me, I'd love to take a pill and have all of my past trauma, my lack of faith, gone.

As a man who goes to a Catholic church in Los Angeles, I've told my Father many times, "Can I just get the sped up version of this? Because this is taking way too long."

I've heard from hundreds of people in my private work that they don't know who they are outside of their professional lives. They have a sense of "myself separate from all that's around me."

We're not our lineage.

We're not our bodies.

We're not our names.

We are.

That's the bottom foundational work of knowing our Selves (with a capital S).

And if we align with God, the prayer "I am you, you are me, we are one, all is well" is a big, fundamental truth.

At the event, I had a chance to speak with Christopher. He's grounded, clear, and has both feet on the ground. He gets that the work is a full-circle, holistic process. I feel he can help many people with his approach to well-being. Half of my private practice is people in their 20s. They are light years ahead of many people in my age bracket. They want voices.

JT and I had a moment before we went on stage. The man has a direct connection to his inner spirituality, which was very moving. He's a man who's seen it all, but somehow he never lost touch with this raging inner kindness and tenderness. I see why music is his love language.

Beacher thrives in the space of innocence. Like most of the people on the panel, he has seen things that most of us never have (or will), and yet, his heart is pure.

As for Kelly, well - it's hard not to bask in her Essence. She radiates love and a desire to give the world a giant hug while throwing a rave at the same time. She's been through Hell and back (if one believes in Hell), and her thirst for a way to inspire others through art, song, and word has moved me to my soul. She's also funny as fuck. She makes me cackle, and there is nothing I love more.

Howard Lefkowitz and I have spoken a few times since. He sat next to me on the panel when I told my story. His humanity (I know; big word) is vast. He's genuine, down-to-earth, and is here to elevate the world to a new level of consciousness. I'm very intrigued to see what he does next.

It is also worth noting that I've since had the opportunity to get to know Jen Able, a remarkable PR professional who was also part of the event. She shares a passion for helping others, and knowing she's offering what help she can to make a positive impact in this world is beyond sublime.

I often meet people in the world of well-being who have good intentions, but when I encounter them, I sometimes struggle to find their true selves beyond the persona they present.

On May 10th, I saw them all. Their true Selves. They allowed me to see a side of them that is vulnerable, rare, and powerful. They know it's about losing physical weight, as well as the weight on our hearts and souls.

That's the heavy lifting, and that's the answer we're all seeking.